#probably deleting this later
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Gotta be proud of myself for a minute
Trying to undo me basically giving up on life and not caring about myself. When my mom first got sick, everything that I was doing to stay healthy went out the window. I started eating what I shouldn't, drinking soda, and my focus was put on her. When she passed away it got even worse. Glad to say that I'm slowly unlearning all the bad habits.
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having a huge emotional anxiety filled moment over this audition because theatre is everything to me and i base literally all of my self worth on it and this is such a huge deal to me because i really like the director and i want to prove myself so bad and i don't think i did my best and i just want to cry so super bad and i want this role so bad and i just cant deal rn
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why did I post this
random stuff and pictures of my cats
covered my face for a reason guys I baked a pie at my grammas house :)
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Chat I'm soooooo soo so stable and awesome and there is not a scary lady seething at me from the corner of the void rn
#shroomie has stopped yelling but idk if this is better or worse#sigghhhh#me when i make a silly joke guy and turns out shes actually full of hatred and starts a cult#probably deleting this later#if i remember#if anyone other than daydream mutual sees this i start crying /j#:3#jap jap jap#also STILL VIOLENTLY SICK I HATE EVERYTHING LIFE SUCKS I NEED TO GO BACK TO THE SOIL
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starting to get the feeling more and more that I’m just annoying people whenever I talk about tbosas/snowjanus on here which 😭 obviously sucks but I don’t want to make a separate blog for it either cuz every single time I make a side blog for one of my hyper fixations I always end up abandoning it so. Idk what to do
#jess.txt#like :(#anxiety is such a bitch cuz why am I getting nervous for posting stuff I like on my OWN blog 😭😭#probably deleting this later
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I forgot to bring my blazer/cardigan with me. I'm only wearing a t-shirt and jacket.
Fuck. My. Life.
I should rly just leave one at work or smth
#sorry#probably deleting this later#just need to vent#cant even go back cuz then id be late#gonna scream brb
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I'm so tired of all this. Everyone around me isn't afraid of showing that they are not going well, especially that person I had a crush on, and I'm the only one who says nothing, I feel like I can't say anything, that I should hidey feelings, why can't I stand up too? I just can't I'm so tired pls I wanna disappear
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fuck you im pouring milk first idc if the cereal’s soggy what if the kind of cereal I’m using is better that way
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Oh yeah life update I guess my great grandmother died.
#art talks about stuff#ask to tag#i hadn't seen her for at least 5 years so like. i don't really feel anything#contact between her + the rest of my family had been a bit. off. so that's why#mum asked if i'd consider going to the funeral to ''represent the family'' but i've never been to one so#i'm not expecting anyone to feel sorry for me i'm just saying shit at this point#probably deleting this later
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Valve went through and banned a whole bunch of bots yesterday and when I last checked a couple hours ago, the Casual servers are still 99% actual people! If you want to try out TF2 DO IT NOW while you have the chance! Believe me when I say that having matches this clear of bots is RARE. They'll be back in force inevitably in probably a couple days so the window of opportunity here is small. Take the chance to play a normal round of TF2 Casual while you can!
#team fortress 2#savetf2#fixtf2#frankly i'm shocked valve did ANYthing#i'll probably delete this later this is just so rare and time is so short
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In the recent past, women were told by society that they could have a fulfilling relationship or a career, but not both. There’s been a push to “have it all!” more recently, of course, but that’s not what this post is about. This post is about how James T. Kirk occupies the unique position of a male character who had to choose one or the other. There are few male characters other than him who are genuinely and unabashedly hopeless romantics who want to settle down but aren’t allowed to by the narrative. And if you view The Search for Spock as a romantic drama, then Kirk also kind of fulfills the typical female character trope of “learning that romantic love is actually more important than a career.”
As you can see, Captain James T. Kirk’s arc mirrors many female romance protagonists, and he is therefore, textually, wife material. In this essay, I will—
#this is a joke this is a joke this is a joke#star trek#star trek tos#green speaks#I’ll probably delete this later lmfao
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not to be a downer but lately I've been feeling extremely uncreative and unmotivated lately. It sucks so much though because I feel like I am getting so inspired a lot recently as well but when I sit down to actually draw or do something about it I just can't after 2 minutes. It's like I become exhausted by committing to any slight amount of effort, even if it's like a little doodle. I can't draw or enjoy games or clean my room or even talk to my friends. Blaaahhh...
Starting to wonder if I have depression, I guess.
#vent#i don't know why I'm writing this truthfully#I think I just wanted to scream into the void yknow#probably deleting this later#jibber jabber#ô_ô
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I need to learn how to animate better. I haven’t posted many of my animations, I’ve definitely improved a lot, but I need more practice.
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#not against smut at all but smut about real people will forever confuse me#and in this instance im talking about idols and specifically very very young idols#i understand there's a dissonance between the real idol and the one that people have in their head#which is the version that they fantasise about and write for#but i always wonder the impact of releasing such writing to an audience#as you can see it affect the way people interact with these idols afterwards#i'll always encourage people to write#but parasociality is already extreme in the kpop industry - so i don't see the need to write and read about them in such a way#and if you do write it - maybe keep it in closed circles a la discord?#idk#it's a complex issue#and one that will never be solved#but#yeah#idk man#majority of these idols have been training in some basement since middle school and have been media trainedto death to appear perfect#that perfection is so extremely unsexy that i don't see how you can even write about them in such a way#anyway#probably deleting this later
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I wish cat and dog and other animal girls were real and also in love with me and we could snuggle together in bed and be so warm and cozy together
#and that's all for today folks#probably deleting this later#im just being attacked by the 5 am horrors
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“... I'm not Captain America, yet.”
#and i love bucky so much but you're not gonna be baby#we already have our captain america but nice try <3#anyways my god he's been looking extra good isn't he?#i think i fell harder... maybe idk#deleting this later#probably not entirely loving this one lol#sebastian stan#sebastianstanedit#sebstanedit#fysebastianstan#stansclan#sstanedit#sebstangifs#marvelcastedit#mcucastedit#marvel#mcu#mcufam#gbbb#tokyo comic con
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